the robster
19-03-2006, 10:32 PM
Throw away those traditionalist diets of low-fat soups to pass the week and a carb-rich banana & bowl of porridge! Look to the future - and the future is with the BEATTINI & SAUNDERS (©®™) METHOD.
DAY 1
Step 1: Pre-Race Lunch.
TRADITIONALIST METHOD: A healthy bowl of pasta for endurance, and an energy drink for explosive, fast burning energy.
BEATTINI & SAUNDERS (©®™) recommend a good tuck-in at the McDonalds at the side of the motorway. Not only do those gherkins provide a bonus-tailwind, but the whole meal will lie in your stomach for hours as a good strong reminder of the great nutritious nosh you tucked into at lunch - mmmmmmm says BEATTINI (©®™).
Step 2: Post-Race Snack.
TRADITIONALIST METHOD: A mineral-replacing sports drink to replenish all those minerals sweated out during the race.
BEATTINI & SAUNDERS (©®™) METHOD: "Sweating out minerals???" says SAUNDERS (©®™), "only makes you lighter & therefore faster!" Influenced by co-Researcher CHAPMAN (still awaiting licensing purchase) BEATTINI & SAUNDERS (©®™) recommend at least two generous slabs of cake to keep that blood sugar stable and make sure you aren't hungry during the next 1/2 hour in the long wait till Step 3. CHAPMAN says "SNORT-SNORT-SQUEAL! *snuffle*")
Step 3: Post-Race Dinner
TRADITIONALIST METHOD: Large helping of a carbohydrate such as rice or pasta to give the energy for the long race ahead the next day.
BEATTINI & SAUNDERS (©®™) METHOD: Once again, the old faithful of fast food is recommended with a pull-in at Burger King to make sure you fill out that figure to fit into that skin suit; and making sure that digestive system stays stationary so you have plenty of time to pick out every last joule of energy from the delicous nosh you've been gobbling down during the day!
DAY 2:
STEP 1: PRE-RACE BREAKFAST
TRADITIONALIST METHOD: A large bowl of porridge and a cup of coffee for endurance, possibly with a banana and glucose drink on the way to the race.
BEATTINI & SAUNDERS (©®™) METHOD: Like an old friend, McDonalds is always there in the time of need. Why waste time sitting in the car park waiting to meet up with team mates when you can nip into the facility and tuck into a good old full-english, strictly with none of that cabrohydrates rubbish. "Carbohydrates??" says BEATTINI(©®™) "nothing better than good helping of sausage, bacon and eggs, layered in ketchup of course and with a nice large coke for that fast source of energy!". You heard it from the master first! *SAUNDERS (©®™) nods in agreement*.
STEP 2: POST-RACE SNACK
TRADITIONALIST METHOD: (see above to Day 1)
BEATTINI & SAUNDERS (©®™) METHOD:Of course, our beloved researchers recommend the good helping of cake suggested post-race Day 1, but why not try and reinforce the goodness of the body-toning diet of the previous 24 hours with a delicious bacon butty - and go back for several mroe helpings!
Well there you have it! The future of racing diets! You heard it here first! And remember, if you think you could possibly tone up your shape, making yourself light an aerodynamic for the upcoming season, turn to the BEATTINI & SAUNDERS (©®™) METHOD, its fast, its money efficient, its the future! :D
DAY 1
Step 1: Pre-Race Lunch.
TRADITIONALIST METHOD: A healthy bowl of pasta for endurance, and an energy drink for explosive, fast burning energy.
BEATTINI & SAUNDERS (©®™) recommend a good tuck-in at the McDonalds at the side of the motorway. Not only do those gherkins provide a bonus-tailwind, but the whole meal will lie in your stomach for hours as a good strong reminder of the great nutritious nosh you tucked into at lunch - mmmmmmm says BEATTINI (©®™).
Step 2: Post-Race Snack.
TRADITIONALIST METHOD: A mineral-replacing sports drink to replenish all those minerals sweated out during the race.
BEATTINI & SAUNDERS (©®™) METHOD: "Sweating out minerals???" says SAUNDERS (©®™), "only makes you lighter & therefore faster!" Influenced by co-Researcher CHAPMAN (still awaiting licensing purchase) BEATTINI & SAUNDERS (©®™) recommend at least two generous slabs of cake to keep that blood sugar stable and make sure you aren't hungry during the next 1/2 hour in the long wait till Step 3. CHAPMAN says "SNORT-SNORT-SQUEAL! *snuffle*")
Step 3: Post-Race Dinner
TRADITIONALIST METHOD: Large helping of a carbohydrate such as rice or pasta to give the energy for the long race ahead the next day.
BEATTINI & SAUNDERS (©®™) METHOD: Once again, the old faithful of fast food is recommended with a pull-in at Burger King to make sure you fill out that figure to fit into that skin suit; and making sure that digestive system stays stationary so you have plenty of time to pick out every last joule of energy from the delicous nosh you've been gobbling down during the day!
DAY 2:
STEP 1: PRE-RACE BREAKFAST
TRADITIONALIST METHOD: A large bowl of porridge and a cup of coffee for endurance, possibly with a banana and glucose drink on the way to the race.
BEATTINI & SAUNDERS (©®™) METHOD: Like an old friend, McDonalds is always there in the time of need. Why waste time sitting in the car park waiting to meet up with team mates when you can nip into the facility and tuck into a good old full-english, strictly with none of that cabrohydrates rubbish. "Carbohydrates??" says BEATTINI(©®™) "nothing better than good helping of sausage, bacon and eggs, layered in ketchup of course and with a nice large coke for that fast source of energy!". You heard it from the master first! *SAUNDERS (©®™) nods in agreement*.
STEP 2: POST-RACE SNACK
TRADITIONALIST METHOD: (see above to Day 1)
BEATTINI & SAUNDERS (©®™) METHOD:Of course, our beloved researchers recommend the good helping of cake suggested post-race Day 1, but why not try and reinforce the goodness of the body-toning diet of the previous 24 hours with a delicious bacon butty - and go back for several mroe helpings!
Well there you have it! The future of racing diets! You heard it here first! And remember, if you think you could possibly tone up your shape, making yourself light an aerodynamic for the upcoming season, turn to the BEATTINI & SAUNDERS (©®™) METHOD, its fast, its money efficient, its the future! :D