Badger
21-12-2004, 12:45 PM
Here are the latest stats for the North Road forum activity
Badger 176
Pocket Rocket 140
Heffalump 69
The Bish 50
Whippet 48
Tony 37
Agusto Pinochet 32
V D Hoogan 28
Rusty Ryder-Brown 21
twenty2one 6
big'un 5
Mick Quinn 4
cglithero 3
Marsha Jenkins 2
big_bad_boy 1
jmaccyd 1
jza86058 1
Arold 0
Fred 0
jrdavy 0
moonp 0
orlando 0
snikiel 0
stabilizers 0
Teabag 0
As you can see only two people have contributed to over 50% of the total posts (I really must get out more)
This is simply not good enough.
To those who have made an effort well done. To those with only a couple of posts and even worse zero, this is simply unacceptable, why do you bother?!!
We need some rules:
If posts = 0 then they shall be shunned on the rides, we shall show them no shelter, leave them when they puncture, tell them the wrong meeting place. Ignore them if you see them in a social situation or better still laugh at them.
If posts >0 but less than 10, drop them on hills, wait for them when they puncture but don?t help them and if they take too long ride off. In social situations say hallo but no more. Don?t look at them.
If posts > 10 and less than 50 then chat while riding, treat them as equals, ride beside them but not in front, offer them spare tubes if their?s are duff. Off the bike go to the curry with them but don?t offer them advice about what to eat, buy them only one drink. Share your Naan bread but not the rice.
If posts > 50 but less than 100, show them a wheel, help them when they puncture, lend them your phone if they need to call the wife. Off the bike buy them several drinks, talk to them as if they are important, ask about the family, say that the wife/husband is looking pretty fit these days.
If posts > 100, revere them as if they are gods, pander to their every whim, lead them out for town signs, fix their punctures for them, give them food and water, use mudguards when riding with them in the wet, buy them food at the café stop, give them gifts of quality bike kit. When off the bike speak in awe of their magnificence, when talking to them lower the eyes, bow slightly, call them ?Your Highness? or sir, doff your cap, pay for their meals, pretend they?re funny.
Of course I haven?t mentioned the lowest of the low; those who haven?t registered at all. I find it hard to express my anger at this situation and as the forum is open to the public I?m afraid I cannot utter the words that would adequately describe these people. I?m off to break something now.
(Feel free to offer more comments to what could be an amusing thread, assuming you actually post something for pete?s sake!!!)
Badger 176
Pocket Rocket 140
Heffalump 69
The Bish 50
Whippet 48
Tony 37
Agusto Pinochet 32
V D Hoogan 28
Rusty Ryder-Brown 21
twenty2one 6
big'un 5
Mick Quinn 4
cglithero 3
Marsha Jenkins 2
big_bad_boy 1
jmaccyd 1
jza86058 1
Arold 0
Fred 0
jrdavy 0
moonp 0
orlando 0
snikiel 0
stabilizers 0
Teabag 0
As you can see only two people have contributed to over 50% of the total posts (I really must get out more)
This is simply not good enough.
To those who have made an effort well done. To those with only a couple of posts and even worse zero, this is simply unacceptable, why do you bother?!!
We need some rules:
If posts = 0 then they shall be shunned on the rides, we shall show them no shelter, leave them when they puncture, tell them the wrong meeting place. Ignore them if you see them in a social situation or better still laugh at them.
If posts >0 but less than 10, drop them on hills, wait for them when they puncture but don?t help them and if they take too long ride off. In social situations say hallo but no more. Don?t look at them.
If posts > 10 and less than 50 then chat while riding, treat them as equals, ride beside them but not in front, offer them spare tubes if their?s are duff. Off the bike go to the curry with them but don?t offer them advice about what to eat, buy them only one drink. Share your Naan bread but not the rice.
If posts > 50 but less than 100, show them a wheel, help them when they puncture, lend them your phone if they need to call the wife. Off the bike buy them several drinks, talk to them as if they are important, ask about the family, say that the wife/husband is looking pretty fit these days.
If posts > 100, revere them as if they are gods, pander to their every whim, lead them out for town signs, fix their punctures for them, give them food and water, use mudguards when riding with them in the wet, buy them food at the café stop, give them gifts of quality bike kit. When off the bike speak in awe of their magnificence, when talking to them lower the eyes, bow slightly, call them ?Your Highness? or sir, doff your cap, pay for their meals, pretend they?re funny.
Of course I haven?t mentioned the lowest of the low; those who haven?t registered at all. I find it hard to express my anger at this situation and as the forum is open to the public I?m afraid I cannot utter the words that would adequately describe these people. I?m off to break something now.
(Feel free to offer more comments to what could be an amusing thread, assuming you actually post something for pete?s sake!!!)